Canceled…

What will you do if you have saved your money for a looong time to reach your dream but when that time is coming, you can’t make it?

Help me…

Since I was a kid, I really want to see aurora borealis in nordic area. For me, it’s the most amazing thing in the world. So, no here I am, in Europe. I’m from tropical country and I really really want to see this amazing winter view with my own eyes. I have saved my money for a year for going there. And now, IT’S AUTUMN!!!!!!!!! October 2014….

I searched for the best place for hunting aurora… I heard that Tromso and Ivalo are the best places to see that. I contacted my friends there (in Finland and Norway) to ask them about the budget. They suggested me this and that. After calculating blablablabla, OK! My money is mort than enough! Yes!

I booked Hotelli Kultahippu for staying in Ivalo, I booked FinnAir with the assurance for the airplane…

But suddenly…

“What will you do in this winter, honey?” My parents asked me via private chat using LINE.

“I will go to Ivalo for seeing aurora”

“Ivalo?!! Are you sure?”

“Yes, I have booked airplane ticket and hotel there. I have saved my money to go there, Dad”

“Since when?”

“Last year”

“Why you never tell us? Can we discuss a little?”

Hmm my feeling said that it was not a good idea to discuss with them.

“Can you cancel that?”

“But this is my dream since I was child”

“Please reconsider that again because your condition is not so good now. Or maybe, we can see your condition during this month and if it’s good, you can book everything again next month”

“But the price will be higher next month, and all of the hotel will be booked”

“Please honey”

Fine….. I know that my condition this month is not so good. When I feel tired, I will have nosebleed and sometimes I feel hard to breath. I know that, I realize that. But this is my dream. I cried all night when I canceled them. Fortunately, there was not any charge in my cancelation process.

This is my last semester in Europe. I don’t know I can continue in PhD or not in Europe. If not, so THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE TO GO TO SEE AURORA!!!

That night is the night when I really really hate myself, my body…

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