How if…

It has started four years ago…
I always count the day. What day? D-day for having first date? D-day for having marriage?
No!
Big big NO!
I always count the day when I will die hahaha. sounds strange, huh?
I always think, “Do I waste my time for the unnecessary things? Have I already made my parents proud of me? Have I done enough good works for the others?”
If I die in 60, hmm so I have 36 years more. I can help the others more, have children, rise them, watch my grandchildren…
But how if I die before 30? SOME YEARS REMAIN! What I can do in this remaining years is only make my parents proud of me. I will do my best for my family, my country, and my friends. I don’t care what will happen to me. I will do everything for them.
Sometime, I feel so sick. My head is very dizzy and I need my bed for taking care my body, but I try to be ‘healthy’ in front of them. Smile everyday, cook for them, chitchat with them, spend my weekend with them…
I really want to wake up in this nightmare…
Or maybe…
Am I daydreaming??

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